Sexism and Asperger’s

When I look at the New York Times article on Girls with Autism, yes, I see so much of the story of my life:

The bullying, the loneliness, the constant gravitation toward male-dominated environments. ..

So how could they get through all those pages and words and never wonder if the reason we female aspies are so burdened might not have to do with sexism?.. especially when Simon Baron-Cohen (yes, cousin of the other Baron-Cohen) summarizes Aspies as a "super-male brain."

Maybe that explains to the mentor who listened to my first sermon, pronounced it inspiring and interesting, and then said, “But don’t let Harvard make a man? out of you – you’re such a pretty girl.”  What about that?

What about the professional assessor who told me to “get in touch with my womanhood” and quit trying to live through my brain?

What of all those adoring eyes that look into an aspie man’s monologue and say, in swooning tones, “Oooooh, you’re so smart!”  There are plenty of men who ultimately trample their families in order to maintain the cosmic aspergerian flow – and their families accept it, because the men are paid for handsomely.

And it isn’t just husbands.  There are plenty of men whose careers – even ministries --  flourish precisely because they are able to “live through their brains.”  Surrounding these men are adoring and envious crowds, saying “Wow, look at the way everyone listens when he talks.”

Indeed, the orthodox God seems to be a classic unmanaged aspergerian male.  A manager on a rampage.  And why should not the aspergerian ability to manage large systems be an asset for any gender?  Why should not the female God not be a managed and managing aspie, grounded in heart by covenants, but soaring in mind as well?

Grounded in heart. That is often an aspergerian asset, a self-defense from squandering our lives in larger realms we cannot fathom.  Contrary to the NY Times article – and my own life experience -- I suspect there are numerous aspie women whose marriages succeed and therefore, their minds are never labeled.  They are just appreciated by their families.  They are honored as leaders in small groups.  They produce and educate professionally accomplished sons.

No, I suspect that universal screening for aspies and other learning differences  would yield a more complex picture of aspergerian women than this article held forth.  Love is really the only thing that triumphs over this syndrome, and some of it has been romantic love.  And it has been bestowed on us.  Likewise, I cannot believe there have not been successful aspie women in unheralded careers.  In fact, I consider it likely that many of the “behind every successful man” women – the ones who consistently find themselves training a succession of hot young male bosses – are aspies who deserve a lot more credit.